This one is from George Irvine.  "Bone Smugler" is his pet term for Bill Stone.  This parody is based on material from a item from the real Wakulla2 project.

Date: Wed, 7 May 1997 17:29:32 -0700 (PDT)
From: Bone Smuggler <usdct@rocketmail.com>
Subject: Help Wanted : Wakulla Two Project - Become a part of history with the Wakulla Two Project

The Place - Tallahassee, Florida. The State of Florida Parks and Recreation has granted a three month permit to the US Deep Caving Team, Inc, to explore, map, and conduct scientific research in Wakulla Springs running from October, 1997 through January 1998.

The project is being run by Dr. Bill Stone, developer of the cis-lunar mk 5 rebreather, explorer of the Hautla cave system, and chief architect behind the 1987 Wakulla project. Dr. John Zumrick will assist the project with his years of experience in hyperbaric physiology. Pharmacist Larry Green will provide the medical expertise to conduct these dives.

Wakulla Two will use an on-site saturation chamber (code-named Atlantis I) so the divers will actually stay submerged the entire time. We will use high tech commercial diving techniques to accuratly survey the cave system, test out the Mark V rebreather, and explore to new limits of penetration. Wakulla Springs is considered to be the resurgence of the Leon Sinks Cave System, undoubtably the longest and deepest underwater cave system in North America. The 1987 Wakulla project set new standards for long, deep, exploration cave diving, with Wakulla Springs reaching sustained depths in excess of 360 feet (109 metres).

We need people to enlist and join the Wakulla Two project. We need support divers, surface support, journalists, publicists, and chamber operators, cooks, and lead exploration divers.

If you are a certified diver, with minimum PADI Openwater, then you can be a support diver at Wakulla Springs during the Wakulla Two project! That is the only requirement to be a support diver! Your duties will include communication between the inhabitants of our on-site chamber (code named:Atlantis I) and the surface, transportation of supplies and equipment to/from the chamber (items such as fresh tanks for continued exploration diving, meals, medical items such as pain killers, meals, tables and charts, meals, etc).

If you are not a certified diver, but are interested in the exploration project and wish to help, then you can be a surface support person. Duties will include transportation of tanks and other supplies to/from the water, placement of meals in food transportation tubes, etc.

If you are a professional journalist or publicist, now is your time to get on board with the Wakulla Two project. This project promises to be better then anything ever seen before. We guarantee that we are looking for the most publicity we can produce, so your name will get around as being a publicist for the Wakulla Two project! Imagine the potential to win awards, maybe even journalistic pulitzer prizes!

We are looking for qualified chamber operators to assist with our on-site hyperbaric chamber. We will even offer training for people who have the appropriate attitude. Responsibilities will include making sure the inhabitants of the Atlantis I are comfortable and maintained in a viable Oxygen/Helium/Nitrogen environment.

We are looking for qualified cooks. Long exposures to high pressures make some of our divers hungry. The cooks will be responsible for preparing up to 5-6 meals a day (at least 3 courses per meal), and making sure the divers are in good spirits (wine or beer is fine, but no domestics) as well as well taken care of.

Exploration divers - Yes, you two can be an exploration diver. The requirements however are that you must have experience diving in this type of environment. Any candidate trying to join the Wakulla Two project must have experience with going between six thousand and seven thousand feet at depths in excess of two hundred feet (60 metres). Candidates must have at least one dive in excess of 300 feet (90 metres) with a bottom time exceeding 60 minutes (not including decompression so that rules out Rich Pyle). If we can not find any divers meeting that requirements then you must be able to scooter to the Hinkel Restriction in Devil's Ear Cave System with just a set of doubles. You must also provide a good life insurance policy up front, as well as you must remember that when you die your equipment is passed on to the rest of us, so please buy only good stuff.

For more information on joining the US Deep Caving Team, Inc. please contact myself, or John Zumrick (10573.4821@compuserve.com) for more details. You can submit your application electronically, please include a credit card number for the manditory $500 processing fee.

Sincerely yours,

The US Deep Caving Team, Inc.