Peter occasionally posts some humor to the list.  Here are some lists of his lists.

Date: Sat, 03 May 1997 12:06:08 -0700
From: Peter Heseltine <heseltin@hsc.usc.edu>
Subject: 10 Top Reasons Why You're a Rebreather CrashTest Dummy

10. Your rebreather is named after President Reagan's favorite sleeping medicine

9. Your asked the manufacturer for test data and he sent you his son's SAT scores

8. Your unit needs a "blankie" to keep working at depth

7. You think scrubber failure speaks to your prowess with that sleazy girl you picked up Saturday night. (One for the Brits)

6. You think a caustic cocktail is being flamed by George

5. You visit the toilet section in the hardware store for spares

4. The manufacturer recommends TidyBowl to clean the loop

3. The MSRP of your unit is slightly less than the national debt

2. You've had an empty wallet for eight months and still don't have a unit

1. And the number one reason is....the manufacturer says they have the test data, "But we'd have to kill you if we told you"

Date: Sat, 03 May 1997 12:15:59 -0700
From: Peter Heseltine <heseltin@hsc.usc.edu>
Subject: 11 *More* Reasons Why You're a Rebreather CrashTest Dummy

10. You think that military units come without an on/off switch
9. You think ichthyologists live in the Twilight Zone
8. You think a pre-dive check for $1500 is money well spent
7. Your machine had the serial number filed off
6. They tell you your unit was used to film Free Willy and you believe them
5. You think you can invent your own deco tables
4. You've taken to drinking SofnoLime as a breakfast fibre substitute
3. You think Joe Factor sells cosmetics
2. Yould rather risk a caustic cocktail than be flamed by George
1. You think mushroom valves are only found on Maui
0. You only wear a Widolf mask at the full moon

Date: Thu, 24 Jul 1997 22:00:48 -0700
From: Peter Heseltine <heseltin@hsc.usc.edu>
Subject: 10 Things I No Longer Believe

Paul, Bill(s), George:

At 11:13 PM 7/24/97 -0400, you all wrote upchuck.

10 Things I No Longer Believe:

(1) George's crocodile tears for apneic British divers

(2) The Halcyon is safe because it's mechanical and not electronic

(3) Either Elliot brother has spoken to Ralph Nader

(4) Oz divers do it deeper 'cause it's up from here

(5) The electronics on my CCR1000 will override my ego and kill me

(6) Any video light battery lasts longer than 60% of its rated burn time

(7) Any rebreather manufacturer has an MBA in marketing working for them

(8) Mixed gas deco planning any RB is a snap

(9) Wakulla Springs empties into Lake Havasu (I'm unsure of this one)

    .....And the number 10 factoid in which I no longer believe:

(10) Rebreather divers are congenial, layback kind 'o guys to whom the enjoyment of diving means more than their egos and for whom an agenda is just another date.

Question:
Have we discussed all we know about rebreathers? And I do not include calling your competitor rude Irish names or throwing out simpler insults (e.g., liar) as debate. George, you say you haven't been diving since May - it shows. Bill(s), enough with the dry wit...how about wet experiences? As my mother (the Chief of Police) used to/still says "If you have nothing to say, the least you could do is to shut up". "Nuff said.

yours 'til the helium bubbles over. . . pHmadDog